Saturday, May 19, 2007

Mausoleum

Michael Dugan | 1983 | 96 min | US

This film is just the worst. So tedious + poorly put together. I enjoy bad horror, but I can only endure so much. I can't stand movies that seem to go out of their way to avoid reasonable plot points. There are so many set-ups that are completely abandoned in favour of completely ridiculous dialogue + the world's clumsiest story development.

Quick plot for those still interested: The Nomed family (GET IT?) has been subject to a centuries old curse that affects only women. The latest of the line, Susan, is struck by this curse following her mothers death. Apparently she's cool with it for about twelve years, but when we meet with her again she is on a vicious fuck + kill spree involving random gardeners, delivery men, gallery owners, whoever. No one seems to notice or care. Later in the movie we learn that the curse is both very simple to avoid + even easier to combat. After a "climax" who's pacing would kick Terrence Malick's ass, we get the final shot twist that makes absolutely zero sense in any way.

Over the course of the last thirty years the director has made two other movies: Super Seal + Raging Hormones. Someone kill this asshole.

Bonus Feature: The predatory mexican gardener. . . OR IS HE?!

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