The Signal

David Bruckner, Dan Bush, Jacob Gentry | 2007 | 99 min | US

In the city of Terminus something strange is going out on the airwaves. A signal transmitted over cell phones, radios, and televisions is turning citizens paranoid and aggressive. Okay, maybe not aggressive; maybe unpredictably, brutally violent.

The movie is divided into three acts, or 'transmissions,' each following a different point of a love triangle. The three characters weave in and out of strangers' and each other's lives and only the three parts together form a complete picture of their interactions. Notes are taken from J-horror, Romero, Raimi, and more of horror's greats. The film explores different moods, from dark satire to shock horror and a star-crossed love story. The moments of dark humour contained in the second part put me off, at first. However, those moments worked so well at disarming me before sudden hits of shocking violence that I found myself impressed with how easily I fell into the filmmakers' traps. The young actors involved do a great job with the material, often effectively turning on a dime when the signal demands.

The intended wider theatrical run was aborted when two audience members were stabbed by another during an early screening in Fullerton, California. Dang. It's too bad that this will have hurt the chance for the film to be seen by as many as it deserves, but it is worth tracking down on video. Though its influences are many and often obvious, the resulting collage makes The Signal a fresh and satisfying horror film.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Steven Spielberg | 2008 | 124 min | US

I waited twenty years for this?

The three prior Indiana Jones films have earned no small number of fans since the hero's debut waaaay back in 1981 and I am one of them. I love those movies pretty goddamn hard, which is probably why I am so terribly unhappy with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

This time around our intrepid archaeologist faces off against the Soviets in the hunt for an ancient crystal skull that possess mystical powers and unlocks a great treasure. Of course, access to such power and wealth is coveted by the evil Commie hoards and Indy is pushed to rescue both the skull and his kidnapped colleague from their clutches. There are more big names in this sequel than any of the previous films. The Soviets are lead by Cate Blanchett as military hero Irina Spalko, Ray Winstone joins cast as Indy's old war buddy Mac, and Shia LaBeouf rounds things out as the plucky young greaser sidekick. I know, I know, but it's really not as bad as it sounds. Actually, LaBeouf's character is about the only thing in this movie that is not as bad as it sounds. Karen Allen also returns as Marion, Indy's love interest from the first installment. It's a bone thrown to the long time fans, but every interaction between them feels awkward and flat, particularly in scenes where they duel with quick zingers.

But those aren't the only moments in Crystal Skull that fall on their face. Oh no. In fact, nearly every attempted joke in this film is humourless and embarrassing. Remember the Tarzan gag that almost single-handedly ruined Return of the Jedi? Well, George Lucas gives it another go here to no better effect. There are also CGI animal jokes aplenty tossed in for good measure. The reliance on CGI was a huge disappointment for me. I don't know why Spielberg decided to forgo shooting in the exotic destinations of the prior films in favour of soundstages and CGI, but it compromises the entire spirit of the previous Indiana movies. Where those films were full of beauty and vitality, Crystal Skull feels claustrophobic and cheap.

Who cares about character interaction or outdoor photography, though, right? Certainly this film delivers when it comes to its big action scenes, right? Right?! Sorry, friends. The action sequences are clumsy and extended so long as to become booooring. And I'm not a big continuity queen, but the number of obvious errors that occur during a lengthy vehicle chase are difficult to forgive, let alone ignore.

Obviously Harrison Ford is a little long in the tooth to keep squaring off against the Nazis, but so much effort is put into constantly reminding us of the new fifties setting that it becomes oppressive. Even at its smoothest, the biggest payoff for viewers is, 'Oh yeah, its the fifties now. How bout that.' The hot rod races and greaser fights in diners certainly don't aid the story any. The problem is that Harrison Ford is not only too old to be fighting the Nazis, he is simply too old for this role. The fight sequences are slow and dull, and the use of body doubles is obvious and frequent. The end result of watching this joyless, elderly Indiana was that I left the theatre feeling old!

Were this a sequel to The Mummy or National Treasure all of this might be excusable, but it isn't. It is an Indiana Fucking Jones picture and it should be leagues better than this. I want to punch Steven Spielberg and George Lucas in their greedy fucking faces.

Bonus Feature: ABSENTEE FATHER AS PUNCHLINE!

Speed Racer

The Wachowski Brothers | 2008 | 135 min | USA

If you're a fan of the original Speed Racer show, interested in watching a great example of cartoon-to-live action adaptation, a lover of stunningly colourful and complex CGI car races, or are a ten year old boy, Speed Racer should be at the top of your list of films to see in a theatre right now.

If you're none of those things, rent Bound and hope the Wachowskis make their second good movie (for you) soon.

Strange Wilderness

Fred Wolf | 2008 | 87 min | US

Remember when it seemed like Steve Zahn might be awesome? Well, those days are done. I laughed about four times during this movie, each laugh more pitying than the one before.

Jonah Hill is now dangerously close to making the "I Guess We Were Wrong About Him" list too.

Teeth

Mitchell Lichtenstein | 2007 | 88 min | US

Dawn is the proud vocal leader of her high school's chastity group. It is a role which has earned her daily taunts from most of her high school classmates, but has been essential in Dawn keeping her budding and confusing sexuality at bay. Dawn possesses the vagina dentata of myth, a toothed vagina, but is unaware of her uniqueness or why her own body frightens her.

It takes a little while for Teeth to get rolling beyond the same chastity riffing as Saved and when it does move ahead it is because Dawn is the victim of an assault. The attack leads her to believe she may be slightly different than other girls, biologically speaking. Her vagina dentata reveals itself to be a defense against sexual violence, but unfortunately, Teeth's lazy script then demands every male be a rapist in order to propel the story forward at all. With such clumsy characterization the intended shocks give way to eye rolling very quickly.

Of the many problems with Teeth the biggest is that Lichtenstein can never decide what he wants the film to be. The early moments of horror work very well, but then it runs off the rails into self-conscious comedy. Then back to horror, but this time without the punch. Then back to comedy. I think.

Considering how scattered this film is, it's surprising that it is so utterly predictable at every turn. By the time the last scene lumbered forward I don't know if I was more irritated by the wink at the camera or that I knew it was coming. The one saving grace is the performance of Jess Weixler as Dawn. Stick to helping your dad paint dots, Mitchell.

Pop Skull

Adam Wingard | 2007 | 86 mins | USA

The first thing I heard about Pop Skull, before hearing what the film is about or whether it's any good, is that it was made for something in the neighbourhood of $3,000. An impressive feat for a feature length film that's getting decent reviews and film fest play, to be sure. In fact, the crazily low price tag is kind of reason enough to go see the film - just to see what the ambitious young filmmakers managed to accomplish with so little.

As it turns out, they managed a lot. Low budget creepy horror films can be really, really bad when the filmmakers are unable to reconcile a grand vision with a shoestring budget. Pop Skull stands out for fully using these limitations to its advantage.

Most of all, the film succeeds because it's clever. The story is about a young over-the-counter pill addict who's pining over a lost love and may or may not be seeing ghosts (but who knows, when he's high on cough syrup all the time). The writing is good, the structure is creepy and suspenseful and best of all, at no point does Pop Skull look or feel cheap. In fact, the low-fi video look is used brilliantly to achieve a trippy, dark aesthetic. Everything about Pop Skull seems well thought out and intentional, and not like a compromise that could have been executed better with more cash.

I guess technically it is a 'horror' film (if we have to be so rigid about our genre definitions), but it's definitely not a startle-a-minute gore fest. The pace is slow, contemplative and meandering, and creates an atmosphere of unease and discomfort that settles over the viewer like a warm blanket made of bugs.

People like director Adam Wingard prove a really important, oft-forgotten point that it's easy to lose sight of: money can't buy smarts, and a million dollars (or 80) can't make up for a lack of good ideas or competent writing. Highly recommended, though now that it's done screening at Toronto's Over The Top Fest, it may be a while before the film is available again. Fingers crossed for a good DVD release.

I Think We're Alone Now

Sean Donnelly | 2008 | 70 mins | USA

Jeff Turner is a 50-something Santa Cruz man with Asperger’s Syndrome and a wealth of conspiracy theories about secret societies and satanic cults. Kelly McCormick is a 38-year-old hermaphrodite and sports fanatic from Denver who’s finally settling into her identity after a lifetime of gender confusion, family dysfunction and heartache.

Both are really, really huge Tiffany fans. Jeff has a machine that helps him communicate spiritually with the ‘80s pop star, while Kelly believes it is her life’s destiny to be with Tiffany.

It’s easy to see Jeff and Kelly as creepy stalkers, or pitiable crazies whose grip on reality is tenuous at best. But instead of poking fun at their delusions or their unrequited love for Tiffany, director Sean Donnelly offers a touching and distressing portrait of mental illness, obsession, hope and the deep need for love and understanding.

I Think We’re Alone Now starts out seeming like it’ll be pretty hilarious, if a bit cringe-worthy at times. The pleasant but difficult-to-sit-through surprise is that it’s actually profoundly disturbing and affecting. An unflinching look at two people whose inability to form meaningful bonds with people in their lives has been tragically superimposed on what might otherwise have been normal fandom.

The sad footnote is Tiffany herself, who appears in the film only briefly in various concert appearances at free beach shows and Vegas gay clubs. I guess after nearly two decades of toiling in obscurity, you start to appreciate the loyal, dedicated (if somewhat stalkerish) fans who’ve stuck by you through thick and thin. Back in the 80s, when she was teenage hot stuff, Tiff had a restraining order against Jeff. Now that times have changed, she gives the ubiquitous fan a hug at each public appearance.

The film premiered this week at Over The Top Fest, but you can catch it again at another of Toronto’s many film festivals later in the month – Inside Out .

Play It As It Lays

Frank Perry | 1972 | 99 mins | USA

Watching Play It As It Lays feels a bit like being on some heavy downers. It’s slow paced, depressing and oh-so-stylish. It’s sort of like slipping quietly out of consciousness after a long, hard day of schmoozing and being nice to insufferable people. With the help of a pint of gin and valium, of course.

The aforementioned insufferables, the desolate desert landscapes, the petty arguments and improbable film sets all create a terrifically unbearable backdrop for Tuesday Weld to gently fall away from sanity in a hazy post-abortion breakdown. Her only support comes in the acerbic form of Anthony Perkins, her gay best friend. Perkins is probably the best thing about the film, as a disillusioned, mean spirited and quick witted producer.

Not much happens in Play It As It Lays. Films get made, everyone drinks a lot, has one night stands, attends parties and drives along the city’s many intricate highways. Beyond that, it’s just life as usual in soul-numbingly depressing Hollywood, California. It's really a hell of a bummer, but the film wouldn't be nearly as good any other way.

My favourite thing about this bleak film is its’ even more gloriously bleak, unresolved ending. The action trickles to a stop like the blood from a limp, carelessly slit wrist, and provides a perfect end to a perfectly senseless world. Play It As It Lays is notoriously difficult to find on VHS or DVD, but if you get the chance, it’s worth seeing this downer of a movie, if only to see Perkins in his only openly gay role and fabulous shaggy haircut.

Camille 2000

Radley Metzger | 1969 | 115 mins | Italy

If only the 1960s were actually as outlandishly stylish as this insane, Italian sex melodrama. The sets (from the main character’s crazy white-plastic mansion, complete with a clear plastic inflatable bed, all the way to the bondage dungeon themed party near the film’s conclusion) are totally mental, and the costumes are indescribably elaborate and fantastical. From the film’s opening sequence, in which Danièle Gaubert as Marguerite (a.k.a. the film’s tragic heroine) is swathed in a dress that looks like it’s made of silk and Plexiglas, it is clear that design is at least as compelling a reason to watch as the faint hope of soft focus boobs.

Camille 2000 is really, really sentimental and sad - surprisingly so. I almost forgot it was supposed to be sexy and titillating because the melodrama was so thick. You could hear soft sighs and sniffs in the audience – people who’d been taken on an involuntary emotional journey by the film’s silly, maudlin, tragic love story.

My advice is, forget the sadness and the heartbreak, and focus on that insane dresses that look like they're made out of razors or alien matter brought down from a secret mission to Mars, y'know? Costume designer Enrico Sabbatini should have gotten an Oscar (or some Italian equivalent) for his creations. He also worked on Metzger’s The Lickerish Quartet, so I can only assume that it’s a mindblowing work of visual genius.

Oh, the score by Piero Piccioni is also 100% top notch. Listen a bit here and fall in love.

Running Out Of Time

Johnnie To | 1999 | 93 mins | Hong Kong

It's neat when an action film doesn't have to rely on explosions to create the excitement and tension. I mean, I love the occasional Die Hard as much as the next guy (actually, probably more) but watching a film like Running Out of Time feels like a fabulous breath of fresh air once in a while.

The story centres around two men - Cheung, a dying young criminal mastermind (heartthrob Andy Lau) and Ho Sheung-Sang, the tough negotiator who's after him (played by Lau Ching Wan, who manages to out-hot the young heartthrob as the streetwise, hardened cop).

We find out from the start that Cheung's only got 14 days to live, so when he starts a 72 hour cat and mouse game with Ho Sheung-Sang, the mystery is only in what his motives and goals are. So begins a tense and hilarious 93 minutes of action through the streets of Hong Kong, as Ho Sheung-Sang chases after Cheung, who is trying to bring down an entire crime syndicate with a complicated double-cross scheme and an array of Mission Impossible-esque disguises.

The film is slick, fast paced, includes a few good chases, clever action sequences and very edge-of-your-seat moments, but it's got a low body count and an even lower explosion count, which actually works in its favour. Hong Kong uber-director Johnnie To apparently understands that allowing your audience to get wrapped up in the relationship between two witty, compelling characters and an intricate plot isn't such a bad thing in a thriller.

My Winnipeg

Guy Maddin | 2007 | 80 mins | Canada

I saw this film at last year's Toronto International Film Festival and had a chance to see it again months later at Cinematheque Ontario, but sitting down to review it has been a real struggle. I guess the problem is, I know that My Winnipeg isn't Guy Maddin's best film, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that (even as a big fan of his work) it's my favourite. A personal, intimate, absurd and funny portrait of his home town, the film is a seamless blend of local history and childhood memory. Maddin has referred to his approach to this film as "docu-fantasia", and that's pretty accurate.

The film is done in Maddin's signature old-timey style, inter-cutting archival footage with filmed scenes seamlessly. One strange exception is a segment about the demolition of the old Winnipeg Arena. Perhaps as a commentary on modernity, or the changes Winnipeg is experiencing, this portion of the story is jarringly filmed in colour video, not black and white film. It's the only part of the film that really didn't work for me.

The best part by far is Maddin's narration, a memoir of his love-hate relationship with the city that has been his home for his entire life. The most bizarre stories in the film are the true ones - snapshots of the city's strange history. However, they're sandwiched between absurd fabrications, reenactments of Maddin's home life with actors playing the parts of his family members, and occasional incisive commentary about the way the city has changed over the years. 40s cult icon Ann Savage is awesome as 'mother', a central figure almost as compelling as the city itself.

It's hard to distinguish between the real Winnipeg and the author's nostalgia-soaked private Winnipeg in this film, but it kind of doesn't matter. As much as Maddin's narrative remains comically obsessed with the notion that he must leave Winnipeg for good, the entire film is actually a tender love letter to the sleepy, snowy city.

These Girls

Tahani Rached | 2006 | 68 min | Egypt

These Girls is a documentary portrait of a small group of girls who share companionship in the brutal and violent streets of Cairo, Egypt. Unfortunately, These Girls goes out of its way to insert so much whimsy and romance into the lives of these teenage prostitutes and runaways that virtually all of the impact is lost. The music, editing, and extended dances sequences all conspire to reduce this film to near parody. Yes, i said extended dance sequences. In one scene, a man washes out a found styrofoam cooler with rags to act as a makeshift crib for a girl's newborn baby. It is a disturbing moment- or it would be were it not played for laughs. The theatre thought it was adorable. Those homeless people are so inventive! Cute!

Also problematic is that the film gives no context to their lives or community so a great deal of cultural references are lost. The same can be said of the heavy reliance of euphemistic language like "slept with" or "love" to indicate rape, kidnapping, and prostitution. And to avoid any problems with what seems to be a predetermined story arc, when a girl is arrested or otherwise disappears, she is given no more than a quick mention and is quickly forgotten in favour of the other main "characters."

There is a great documentary that could made about these young women, who are strong, intelligent, and open about their day-to-day struggles, but this is not it.

Plague

Ed Hunt | 1978 | 88 min | Canada

Long ago forgotten on video as both M-3: The Gemini Strain and Induced Syndrome, this fun sci-fi thriller deserves a visit. Treading roughly the same water as Cronenberg's Shivers and Rabid, Plague looks at the outbreak of a lethal virus in seventies Toronto, Canada. The spread is furthered by the greed and fears of its creators and the incompetency of bureaucrats and police. Neither the plot, characters, or dialogue are terribly original, but there is enough on screen to keep one invested in the mood. Thanks are due in part to its amusing B qualities and terrific electronic soundtrack. Fun and oddly prescient, someone needs to re-release this film as M-3: The Bird Flu and make millions.

Local Torontonians wishing to catch this one should pay attention to upcoming programs at Trash Palace. Stacey has acquired a great looking print of this one and should be showing it again soon.

Bonus Feature: DELICIOUS SUBMARINES!

Persepolis

Vincent Paronnaud + Marjane Satrapi | 2007 | 95 min | France

This animated feature is Marjane Satrapi's account of growing up during the Iranian Revolution. It is based on the two volumes of her comic book of the same name, but fortunately the co-director only uses those books as story guideline and artistic inspiration. Satrapi's drawing style is used as a starting point and launched far ahead. The line work is bold and simple while the charcoal backgrounds lend softness, subtlety, and incredible texture. Each frame is lush and beautiful, surprising for such stark black and white animation.

Persepolis begins with young Marjane witnessing the fall of Iran's shah and moves through the rise of the religious zealots who quickly dash any dreams of a progressive democracy. The revolution has grave implications for Marjane's family, and she is sent to school in Austria where a great deal of the story also takes place. Thankfully, the film condenses much of this period from the books, doing away with the more indulgent aspects of that arc.

Perhaps better than any other film I've seen, Persepolis is extremely well done in showing the transformation from romantic youthful notions of revolution to portraying the real toll of conflict invading every sphere of one's daily life. As revolution after revolution cuts down Satrapi's friends and family it is impossible to not be moved, cartoon or not. Persepolis is an unusual view of a young woman's coming of age story and a rare example of beautiful, innovative animated film.