Tuesday, October 07, 2008

The Opening of Misty Beethoven

Radley Metzger | 1976 | 85 mins | USA

After falling in love with Camille 2000 last year, I decided it was time to check out some of Radley Metzger's other sexy fare. This hilarious porno-Pygmalion provided fewer incredible costumes, but a much more lighthearted and fun storyline overall.

Misty Beethoven (Constance Money) is a cute but prudish hooker. Dr. Seymore Love (the semi-legendary Jamie Gillis, who notoriously inspired that limo scene in Boogie Nights) is a sexologist who's determined to transform her from "the nadir of passion" into someone who inspires it.

Dr. Love and his wealthy patron Geraldine Rich (Jacqueline Beudant) take Misty to Geraldine's mansion in Europe for some intensive months of training. At the lavish estate, Misty is forced to endure a variety of strict but sexy practice regimens (often depicted as wacky montages, complete with dildo bloopers), while Dr. Love looks on critically and an assortment of butlers and maids give head to anyone who happens to pause for more than a second.

Misty's many "tests" include having to seduce an obviously gay art dealer and ultimately vying to become the new "Golden Rod Girl" (European sex-society's top honour, apparently). All the while, in true Pygmalion-esque fashion, she's clearly falling for Dr. Love, who does nothing but mistreat the poor dear.

Great cinematography, a top notch score but some genuinely funny dialogue (not to mention competent acting) make this film one of the crowning achievements of classic '70s XXX cinema.

Interesting Factoid: The Opening of Misty Beethoven has the distinction of being the first widely-released porn movie to feature female-on-male pegging, during a ménage a trios between Constance Money, Ras Kean and Gloria Leonard. Apparently, Kean used an ass double. No joke!

11 comments:

aaron said...

what's up with the dirty toilet movies on my website all of the sudden?!

katarina said...

Hey, you didn't complain when I reviewed Camille 2000 months ago ago. Is that just 'cause we watched a heavily cut version of that one? Censorist!

aaron said...

you know my policy on blowjobs: no thank you! that goes for EVERYONE.

jeff said...

I feel like if you took the time to review this, you should have gone into greater depth when discussing the dildo bloopers.

katarina said...

I don't post spoilers!

Michael said...

That is an amazingly fun movie! I love how everybody, everywhere is completely obsessed with sex. Life could be so much more fun.

Aaron cannot spoil my orals with his harsh sex-negativity.

aaron said...

i'm surrounded by pre-verts!

Colin said...

face it. put filth in front of her and she'll devour it.

Stevano said...

Ras Kean's ass double was Casey Donovan who played the Gay Art dealer.

Unknown said...

I am so sad to report this but the great Ras Kean aka Robert Clancy has gone to that great porn studio in the sky. He passed from a brain hemorrhage last week. I believe he was 64 years old. He was a good guy and I miss him

aaron said...

Sad to hear, but thank you for the update. Too young!